Empathy...Ah the humanity

 

Empathy...Ah the humanity

When people talk about empathy it's usually in the context of individual empathy unless a tragedy occurs then of course that will trigger mass empathy. I bring this up because I'm always reminded of Bartleby.

Bartleby is a short story by Herman Melville, written in 1853 after he wrote Moby Dick. The story was also made into a 2001 movie starring Crispen Glover. In the story Bartleby is a scrivener or legal copyist or a more modern and sterile description would be a copier machine. Bartleby suffered a loss that no one is paying attention to and so, in response to every request made of him he simply says, "I'd prefer not to." Until finally his boss sees him and his loss without triumph and cries out, "Ah the humanity...the humanity. This is empathy on an individual basis.

Those words echoed across time from 1853 to 1937 when the Hindenburg disaster took place. Herbert Morrison was a reporter on the scene when the crash occurred and crying out the words, "Ah the humanity...the humanity. September 11, 2001 that same cry was heard around the world. This is empathy on a mass basis.

Empathy means to be able to understand someone else's position and feel what they are feeling, and usually it produces compassion and some form of intercession if the circumstance calls for it.

People rarely understand the nature of empathy. Have you ever noticed that people tend to be more cruel when you are in the midst of suffering? It feels like the whole world lines up to kick you when you're down. The reason that is, is because people are terrified of the possibility of loss without an accompanying triumph to go with the loss.

People find it impossible to identify with someone who has suffered loss with no triumph because the thought of putting themselves in the place of powerlessness and hopelessness is terrifying. In fact it's more terrifying than anything you find in a horror film because human loss is rooted in reality. So when they kick you when you're down, and they will, just know that they are doing so because they are confronted and terrified by the possible reality that they could end up in a similar situation without hope.

So, they will say things like pull yourself up by your bootstraps come on get up GET UP!

But what if there is no getting up? You can't have triumph without loss...that's true enough, but what if there is no triumph to be won?

It is more difficult to express empathy on an individual basis than en mass simply because of the way we see triumph and loss. If all we have is loss, who wants to empathize with that? We want a happy ending more than relating to those who have suffered loss. Empathy has become an afterthought emotion that is only displayed after a triumph is gained, reserved only for those who overcome the odds. People easily empathize with that because they say to themselves...Even if I suffer similar loss I have hope. I will rise above. I will overcome the odds because if that person can do it so can I.

Empathy in its' purest and truest form becomes the motivation behind compassion. Empathy is not an afterthought. It is from a compassionate heart without judgment or condemnation, not a heart of righteous indignation.

If you want to experience real empathy you must first give up your self-given right to judge and condemn and in order to do that you have to face your own fear of loss without triumph.

"Ah the humanity." If only we saw the individual tragedy the way we see mass tragedy.

If we are to advance as human beings we are going to have to look at the nature of empathy within ourselves and each other unless, of course, you'd prefer not to.

GB